Drrr!: A Story About Distorted Love, Family, Fairies, and Cults
by Jam-Man265
Summary: This is a story of a man, his family, a fairie, a trio a girlfriend, a doctor, a monster, a group in a van, love, hatred, betrayal, insanity, incest, murder, and hope. This is a man and the road he took for his final journey.
1. Chapter 1

**JAM-MAN265: **_To any and all who are listening out there welcome to my 2__nd__ story on this site. A _BIG_ thanks goes to Shogun K who put my story-board into actual story form, check out his stories: _**BlackWhite: The Final Surgeon, Kuromaku: The Truth of Durarara, **_and my personal favorite _**Valentine's Day: Chaos in Ikebukuro.**

_Also one more thing, this story takes place in Shogun K's __Shogun Rouge universe, so there will be a reference to some events in that story here and there. Also characters from Baccano will also be making an appearance as well but this will strictly be a Durarara story so their appearances will be kept to a minimum. _

**_SHOGUN K:_**

_Hello Readers! I am Shogun K, and I have had the pleasure of helping the Jam dude write this story. Please leave lots of comments._

**_DISCLAIMER: I do not own DURARARA! or any of the other copyrighted works mentioned in this story_**

* * *

**-Tanaka Taro** has logged on-

**Tanaka Taro:** 'Evening  
**Setton: **'Evening  
**Kara: **'Evening~  
**Bakyura**: Wazzup!  
**Saika**: Good Evening  
**Tanaka** **Taro**: Bakyura... Your unique as usual huh?  
**Bakyura**: Nice to know that you accept my appeal!  
**Tanaka** **Taro**: Shuddup.  
**Tanaka** **Taro**: So! Wacchu guys doing?  
**Kanra**: Just remembering what happened in Ikebukuro the past few months!  
**Saika**: You know… like the Dollars~  
**Bakyura**: like the Slashers~  
**Kanra**: Like the Yellow Scarves~  
**Saika**: I heard that they had an epic final battle in some abandoned shed.

**Tanaka** **Taro**: Oh, yeah t'was… chaotic. Remember Heiwajima Shizuo's brawl?  
**Setton**: I heard that the Slashers didn't stand a single chance. That man is strong…  
**Kanra:** Wasn't the black rider there too? This city's way too supernatural!  
**Tanaka** **Taro**: I'm sure that they're both normal people underneath  
**Kanra**: Eh? Could it be!? Are you the Black Rider!? Scary!  
**Tanaka** **Taro**: N-No!  
**Bakyura**: Kanra go die.

**Tanaka** **Taro**: Speaking of. How about the Red Doctor? I hear about him a lot recently.  
**Tanaka** **Taro:** Do any of you know?  
**Tanaka Taro**: Isn't that "Shogun Rouge" like the newest city legend?

-Loaf-Man has logged on-

**Tanaka** **Taro**: Anybody know?...  
**Setton**: I'm sorry… But I really don't want to talk about that…  
**Kanra**: Yeah… let it go.  
**Bakyura**: I heard that… you don't want to know.  
**Saika**: I agree.

* * *

"Oof!"

I reeled a bit as I ran into the stranger. He was a young boy, about middle/high school age, with brown hair and short height. My first impulse was to apologize to him. However, I only watched questioningly as said stranger started to apologize profusely before I could even start. I then noticed that the young boy had a school application pamphlet in his hands.

"You applying to Raira?"  
"Oh, um… yes. Do you know the place?"

I smiled as the kid reminded me of my former self but a year ago. That time I had been so nervous, so scared… so naïve.  
"Are you new here? Do you know how to get around?"

At least I could be a better introducer than Masaomi… The kid smiled nervously and responded,  
"Um… a bit. I read the books and maps about Tokyo. But… how do I get to Shounji temple from this station?"  
"Okay, turn when you exit the third gate, go until you see…"

I tried to explain the route in the easiest way I could think of and smiled as the kid walked away nervously in that direction. I then mumbled a bit, half to myself, and half to the whole world,

"Welcome to Ikebukuro!"

Little did I expect that somebody would respond.

Across the walkway, a strange man clapped lightly while staring directly at me. He was dressed in an open green plaid shirt with a black t-shirt underneath, and wore square metallic glasses on his face. He looked to be in his late 30's or early 40's, and yet smiled in a way that looked like a mischievous middle schooler. His hair was very bright brown, obviously dyed, and was organized in a way that-

"Would you stop analyzing me?"

I jolted suddenly and quickly bowed in apology. The stranger went on,

"But that attitude of yours! I am imPRESSED! That sort of friendly hospitality of yours is NOWHERE TO BE SEEN these days eh? I've been watching this city for decades upon decades, and the decline of manners is simply tragical!"

Just because one has been living for 40-ish years doesn't legitimate that person to say that he has watched a city for decades upon decades' right? I thought decades upon decades indicated like 60-ish years. And I'm pretty sure that 'tragical' isn't a word. However, these scholarly thoughts of mine, brought on by helping a potential Kohai (lower grade level friend from same school), were violently interrupted as the stranger whacked me strongly on the back.

"But I myself haven't been back here in a WHILE and am lost in all the changes! You! The saint for the 21st century! Please give me a tour around this glamorous city! But tell me who you are first, eh?"

Isn't this a tactic that kidnappers use!? Can kidnappers be from another city!? Not that I was in any real danger if he was though…  
"M-My name is Ryuugamine Mikado, uh… I'm a 16 year old student at Raira Academy. I just moved here last year actually, but I think I know this city well enough, I mean, for the daily life of a high schooler, and, um, maybe not on the level of a grown adult salary man like yourself, but, um, for introduction level… And, yourself?"

The stranger wrapped his right arm around my shoulders and spoke out, almost singing,  
"You don't need to know who I am~~"

Whoa wasn't that a bit too unfair!? But I was dragged off by the man before I could express my objections. He then let go of me and skipped ahead through the Tokyo crowd with blistering speed. I had to jog to keep up. The man kept on waltzing in this way for a while, even after exiting the station. He looked around eagerly at the neon lit landscape and shouted to nobody in particular,  
"Look at those Lights!" "Woo Hoo! What are those buildings!"  
"We need to cross that road to get to the east side of town right Ryuugamine-san~?"

With those words, the stranger danced quickly across a sidewalk. Nobody did that in Ikebukuro at night. I quickly shouted a warning,

"Whoa, whoa! WAIT! D-Don't cross before looking like that! You could get hit by a-"

At that moment the weird stranger was slammed down violently by a familiar green van with an anime-inspired door.

"…Car." I finished meekly.

A terrified Kadota jumped out of it and jumped in fear with his hands on his head. Togusa also jumped out overflowing with emotion, but his anger was directed more towards damage to his car than to the potential murder that he had just committed. Kadota violently grabbed his driver by the collar and yelled frustrated comments right at his face. Mikado could only watch…

However, the stranger stood up nonchalantly and spoke his dissatisfaction,  
"Right after a polite high schooler, I have to deal with traffic law violating gangsters? What has this city become!?"

Hold up… Wasn't he just rammed head on by a van at "maximum warp"?! He should have been injured! There should be broken bones, and screaming, painful cursing, or at least blood all over the body!? My thoughts were expressed more colorfully by the otaku duo in Kadota's van. (Although a bit altered and with strange fictional twists.)

"Did you see that? DID YOU SEE THAT?!" Cried Walker.  
"No normal human being can survive that, at least not without INJURY!" Erika practically cheered.  
"This must mean-"  
They both said simultaneously "HE'S A GOD!"  
"It's just like Haruhi Suzumiya!"  
"He must have an army of time travelers and space aliens at his beck and call!"  
The two otaku's then began to bow and say some alien chant (_A/N: as seen in episode 12.5)_ that was used in some bogus documentary from awhile back. During said chant the stranger looked at the otaku's companions with an arched eyebrow as if to say "Are they alright?" to which their only response was an unsure shrug.

Erika then took the stranger…er… 'God' by his hand and threw him inside the van. He looked helplessly at me and yelled comically,

"Oh, Ryuugamine-san! Help me from these kidnappers!"

I stood for a while in shock, as I had thought that the events unfolding in front of me didn't concern myself directly. However, I was violently removed from this situation, as Walker yanked me toward the crashed, but still running, vehicle.

"That means that we must take you along too!"

After much strange shouting by the van-gang, we drove noisily in the direction of Russia sushi. As I sat silently in the back, I pondered what situation I was in…

It was true that I was now kidnapped through my interactions with this stranger (who was texting or something beside me). But I was kidnapped by my friends, who were also Dollars members. I had been hoping that in an emergency, I would be saved by Dollars members. But these were my friends, who I trusted. Does this mean that I was safe? Or not? Huh!?

* * *

**Tanaka Taro**: Remember the chaos that happened last month?  
**Bakyura**: Mmnn. Like that Hanejima show?  
**Saika**: I heard that a lunatic with a knife tired to kill him?  
**Loaf**-**Man**: Huh? Really… wasn't that just a TV gimmick?  
**Kanra**: Nope, he was a worthless man who was left by his girlfriend and somehow wanted revenge.  
**Tanaka** **Taro**: But then I heard that Heiwajima Shizuo stopped it with a KFC sign! That he threw it about 30 meters above the entire crowd! And it hit the idiot without hurting anybody else nearby!  
**Loaf-Man**: Huh**…**  
**Setton:** Happens all the time. That man is awesome**…**  
**Kanra:** And who are you again?  
**Loaf-Man:** Was Orihara Izaya involved by any chance?  
**Bakyura:** Well that bastard always is…  
**Saika:** I heard that Shizuo chased him for at least 8 hours and they nearly destroyed the city in the process**…**  
**Loaf-Man:** Hmmmmm. So this happens all the time as well**?**  
**Kanra:** Pretty much… So who are you**?**  
**Bakyura:** OH SHIT! Sorry guys I gotta go!  
**Tanaka Taro:** GAH! Me too!  
-_**Bakyura**__ has logged out__**-**_  
**Saika:** Guess I'll leave too then**…**  
**_-Tanaka Taro_**_ has logged out__**-**_  
**_-Saika_**_ has logged out__**-**_  
**Setton:** Okay then. See ya**.**  
**_-Setton_**_ has logged out__**-**_  
**_-Loaf-Man_**_ has logged out__**-**_  
**Kanra:** Hey, HEY! Answer my question dammit! Why do you guys always leave me alone~~  
_-__**Kanra **__has logged out-  
-There is nobody in the chatroom-_

_-__**Loaf**__-__**Man **__has logged in-_

**Loaf**-**Man**: Huh… From the way they put it, it was almost as if they had a front row seat to this event. Heh, if that's the case then it's pretty obvious they live closer to Ikabukuro then they let on. Much, much closer. Besides, how could I forget the speaking style of my tour guide?

-delete chat-room conversation?-

no. yes.

* * *

The cacophony of hammers, drills, welding torches, and other heavy tools pierced through the fresh noon atmosphere of Ikebukuro. Workers shouted to and for as busy cranes moved materials from flatbed trucks to the construction sites. From a distance, all looked to be a typical urban construction scene, with maybe a little more vigour and speed than the average. However, most strangely, men wearing black formal suits oversaw every last detail… and everybody spoke completely in English.

Two spectators watched this entire process in amusement, one was the self-proclaimed god of Ikabukuro, merely watched to gain valuable information, the other an urban legend of Ikebukuro, watched in genuine worry and fear.

A thin blue tower had once stood there. It's strange how such a large tower had existed in everybody's lives, yet disappeared ***snap*** just like that… and no one seemed to even notice. Only an empty and meaningless lot occupied the space instead.

The Dullahan remembered having a conversation with her best friend about it. Yet even she promptly forgot about it later.

In this city, only the red shogun remembered the true reason for its disappearance. But that is another story…

The two figures conversed with each other.  
"What. The. Heck. Are they doing now~"  
{Are they going to build another business tower? Like the old blue one?}  
"Hmmmm…"  
{That's not an answer, oh the 'great informant'}  
"…Yeah, it's a "business" building. Some Americans want a slice of the juicy market here you know? Should be done within the month."  
{Huh, I thought the Japanese economy wasn't doing so pretty.}

Motors whirled as English-speaking workers furiously attached metal bars to the second floor foundation. One of the suited men, who was so large that he could probably pass for a giant, carried sacks of these bars as if they were merely groceries. The informant chuckled,

"Oh, not that kind of business. They're more into backdoor business. Like the kind your friend Shiki-san is in"

The headless legend shrugged in sympathy as she watched a wooden covering be slammed onto the secured metal matrix.  
{Well… too bad for them! The Awakusu-kai aren't your typical yakuza!}

The workers then started to secure the complex structure with nails and bolts. But at that moment, all drills and hammers synchronized perfectly to cause a split second of utter silence.

"Well… This isn't your typical competition."

The Dullahan could not help but notice an uncharacteristic edge to his voice.

* * *

**Tanaka Taro**: Well… at least it's a lot more peaceful these days!

**- Loaf-Man** has logged in-

**Bakyura**: YOU AGAIN!?  
**Kanra**: I thought I blocked you!  
**Setton**: Proxy?  
**Kanra**: No… I tired that.  
**Loaf**-**Man**: You said something about the city being more peaceful these days?  
**Saika**: Who are you?  
**Loaf**-**man**: That's not important. More to the point; have you ever heard the phrase – "the calm before the storm?"  
**Loaf-man**: There's a new building being built smack-dab in the center of Ikebukuro right now.  
**Setton**: Yeah, I saw it with an acquaintance a while back.  
**Kanra**: You mean a friend~?  
**Setton**: No  
**Loaf**-**Man**: Rumor has it that the building is owned and operated by a notorious American gang.  
**Setton**: G-gang?  
**Loaf**-**Man**: A strong gang~! They've been around since the Prohibition, and are still going strong~  
**Kanra**: Introduce yourself or geddout.  
**Loaf**-**Man**: You see, some things just don't die out~

* * *

I had never been in a situation like this before. I had faced my fears of loosing my only friends, I was able to help rescue Kida, hell, I even befriended the headless rider! So figuring out how to handle something like this should be Child's-Play!

**Crash!**

"You $$-HOLES!"  
"Saaawwwwwwiiiiieeee~!"  
…Right?  
"I've seen some strange things back in my day kid," the Stranger commented, "but that, hands down, has to be the worst attempt at dancing the waltz I have ever seen!" He then began laughing.

"Blue mooooon, standing in the ooopeeeeennnn…."

To make a long story short Erika and Walker had decided to toast to being graced by the visit of a "God" and 4 glasses of sake (and wine, and beer, and gin, and scotch and...) later they were… well I'm not sure what they were doing, what I do know is that is was supposed to be some sort of ritual dance but in their drunken state it came off more as a lobotomite learning to tap-dance while wearing skis. As for their two sane companions, they were in the far corner of the restaurant pretending not to know them.

Me? I was currently slumped over a table next to the stranger puzzling over how bizarre my day was.  
But I try to be an optimist, at least it most certainly couldn't get any weirder… right?

"Isaac look it's 'That Guy'!" A female voice cried.  
"By God it is! HEY THAT GUY!" A male voice shouted.

I turned to see who was yelling at us and nearly did a spit take. I saw a couple running over to us wearing, shall we say, some unusual costumes. How un-usual you ask? The guy was dressed as a cliché 1950's hard-boiled detective while the girl was wearing a *cough* rather reveling Gypsy outfit. (A/N: A reference to Fallout's Mysterious Stranger and Miss Fortune).

To say they stood out like a sore thumb would be the understatement of the century, however the stranger seemed to know them, considering that he leaped out of his chair and grabbed them both into a hug that lifted them slightly off the ground. It's odd though, for some reason I couldn't shake the feeling that I've seen them somewhere before. I was brought out of my thoughts when the Stranger began talking (or yelling to be heard over the Otakus' nauseating singing) to said couple.

"Isaac! Mira! What are you guys doing here?" The Stranger asked.  
"We've been here for about four years!" Mira cheered.  
"Four years?" The stranger said in awe.  
"Yes!" Exclaimed Isaac in a dramatic voice "So far we've saved the world from itself."  
Yup, yup." Mira said nodding energetically "We've taken the microwaves of the dictators and gave them back to the aliens who need to fix there toasters."

…Wait, what?!

"Children have also been too cooped up in-doors!" Isaac exclaimed "That's why we have also taken there wallets and phones and sold them to the homeless so they can buy there way to survival!"

We both stared at them blankly.  
"…I have no idea what you two have been talking about, but it's nice to know things are going well."

Mira then hugged the Stranger and said "Oh Isaac, today has just been wonderful! First we find out that Ennis and her friends have moved to Japan and now 'That Guy' is here too!"  
"I know, IT'S A MIRACLE!" Isaac yelled. They then both hugged each-other and sobbed dramatically.

…Apparently it could get weirder.  
…Did they even know his name?

* * *

**Tanaka Taro:** Huh? What the heck are you going on about?  
**Loaf-Man:** You see… there's this rumor going about…  
**Loaf-Man:** This gang we're talking about… It thrived during the Prohibition under the control of three brothers.  
**Loaf-Man**: These brothers took their family's small gang, kept it small, but let it live on while the other gangs around them rose and fell dramatically.  
**Tanaka Taro:** Sounds normal enough.  
**Loaf-Man:** The gang kept on thriving while the brothers were in charge. The gang is still thriving now.  
**Bakyura**: Your point!?  
**Loaf-Man:** You see, my dear idiot, rumour has it that the brothers are still alive and doing well!  
**Bakyura**: Ummm… Wasn't the Prohibition like 200 years ago?  
**Tanaka** **Taro**: Actually it was 80 years ago, at least that's what our history teacher said.  
**Bakyura**: Oh. Oops. But still. You don't expect such old people to run gangs…  
**Loaf**-**Man**: Ah-Ha! You see, rumor has it that they're immortal! Not aging a single day since 1932!  
**Setton**: But… how could one hide such a…  
**Loaf-Man:** Simple! They have a friend on the inside!

**-Loaf-man** has logged off-

**Setton**: Hey! Huh!?  
**Kanra**: Well… he was weird.

* * *

We all paid our due and walked outside Russia Sushi, and began musing about the queerness of that Isaac and Maria duo. The stranger told us that they had been a little loose in the head for as long as he had known them, but that they generally good people.

Meanwhile, the otaku duo still danced in some drunken representation of some One-piece scene... or some other anime/manga that contained 'monster pirate dancing'.

After a while though, the stranger stretched and yawned.  
"Well then chaps! I'm dastardly tired, sooo I'll be going now. See ya later!"

Waiddup, weren't he and I supposed to be kidnapped? Last time I checked, kidnapped people didn't just call it a day and go home… However, there was a larger issue that I took up with him.  
"Ummm. Sir. Do you have a place to stay today?"

The slightly drunken stranger smiled towards me, but was distracted before he could answer by a peculiar high pitched buffeting sound that filled the air. The otakus described it best,

"Heeeyyyyy, Yumacchi! Haven't we heard this before?"  
"Yeeahah. Isn't this like that supersonic shockwave sound that a fighter jet makes? Remember, we watched a YouTube video of it at Togusa's place!"  
"Oh yeeeaaah! Does that mean a fighter jet is going to **OAUFH $#!**"

Karisawa-san's last words were cut off as a bright yellow blur, about the size of a large dog, collided with us. The sonic shockwave that the otaku had mentioned slammed all of us down onto the cold hard pavement. Dazed, we could do nothing but try to figure out what had happened. I personally thought I saw said yellow blur drag off our green stranger. Does that mean that it was kidnapping him? Counter-kidnapping kidnapping!?

While we were heaped on the ground in such a dazed and beaten up state, Kururi Orihara walked up.  
"Speeding… Object…? (Translation: Have any of you seen a small yellow object fly past at 'warp speed'?)"

Oh, that explains it. Arcing my bruised neck toward the opposite direction, I saw an ecstatic Mairu dragging the stranger away. Why she wanted him was beyond anything that I could guess. Meanwhile, we all pointed in that direction to answer Kururi's question. The mild middle schooler thanked us, bid us goodbye on behalf of 'all three of us', and calmly walked away. That at least meant that the stranger had a place to stay… right? At least we didn't have to deal with him anymore. However, it could also mean that the stranger was a part of Izaya Orihara's newest scheme to ruin our lives (again)?!

This didn't bode well, I needed to contact both Masaomi and Anri to figure out how we would counter-act.

* * *

8:59:48 AM, a full twelve seconds early, Izaya Orihara checked into his office building. It was a cheerful and sunny Sunday, and the informant was a very good mood. Maybe he'd go on his usual 'weekend business job': to piss off Shizu-chan and watch the newly made street signs fly in his direction. At least the city learned to use cheaper, recycled metal these days…

While he skipped in his usual manner though, Izaya noticed that his assistant sat against the wall facing the office door. Namie's eyes were glazed over and not focused on anything, and her jaw was floating in way to express an emotion somewhere between confusion, surprise, fear, and worry.

A massive smirk filled Izaya's face now as he attended to his first amusement… er… business of the day.  
Walking slowly up his secretary, he formed the worst attempt at a sympathetic voice known to man.

"Aww… Namie-san! What happened? Did your dear little brother leave you?"

Namie managed to turn her head in his direction, but only let out a noise halfway between a groan and a broken vacuum cleaner in response. Izaya continued,

"Now now… calm down my dear secretary! Think of this as a good chance to overcome your twisted nature and-"

He stopped with another smirk as he saw her eyes snap back to their usual cold, focused, and hatred filled orbs. Namie then pointed towards the door, forcing out a strained reply,  
"I-inside…"

Strangely, this effort forced the scientist turned secretary to return to her previous limp vacuum cleaner state. Shrugging, Izaya kicked open the door to his office and strode in his usual arrogant manner.

However, he jumped back immediately as he saw what was inside. His sister Mairu was holding onto the chandelier and swinging on it as if on monkey bars. Even though he had ordered special bracing in the lantern for this exact reason… it still was probably a bad idea. However, the main problem resided below. Kururi sat quietly on the couch, or more precisely... on the lap of man with the green plaid shirt who had been with Mikado.

The man noticed the owner of the office and looked up at him, smiling… smirking. He spoke in a sly voice,  
"Why Izzy-kun! You've grown!"

A moment of tense silence followed, broken only by the sound of the swinging chandelier and the informant's ragged breathing. Izaya then spoke,

"H-h-hey, P-P-P-Pop's…"

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER ONE**

* * *

**_SHOGUN K:_**

_I hope you enjoyed! Stay tuned for CH2, and as always, leave lots of reviews. Oh yeah, and also please check out my other stories. I promise that I'll hold back on the mid-story PR from now on!_

**JAM-MAN265: **_Now before anyone asks: yes that man is Izaya's father, and no we will not learn what his real name is._

_Anyways reviews are appreciated!_


	2. UPDATE!

NOTICE: DUE TO THE CO-AUTHOR GETTING A "JOB OPORTUNITY" THIS STORY WILL BE DISCONTINUED. A REBOOT WILL EVENTUALLY HAPPEN WITH AN ENTIRELY NEW PLOT, EVENTUALLY.

RELEASE DATE: **WHEN IT'S DONE!**


End file.
